The Kid's First Jersey

By Erin Colton

So if you haven't heard by now, you're living on a different planet. Elizabeth Hashagen is pregnant and is one month away from popping out a boy or a girl. (The suspense is killing me!)

There was recently had a shower for Hassy and her soon-to-be new baby. So when I needed a present, my producer Annette directed me to the "baby's registry." Hold on, the BABY'S registry!? The BABY has a registry? It's not even born yet! (Give me a break, I'm new with this baby stuff.)

Ok, so after getting over the initial shock of Hassy's unborn child having it's own registry I headed over to Babies 'R Us to get the kid a gift. First of all, this store should not be named Babies 'R Us, it should be named Parents 'R Us because no baby could possibly understand or appreciate all of the millions of things for tiny people under the age of 5 in this store. I was inside for about 3 minutes and almost had a stroke.

Anyway, registry in hand, I set out to buy baby Hassy a nice little gift for entering the world.

0172653 "Hug Me BLKT" is one of the options on this list that makes no sense. What is the deal with registry's anyway? It's a bunch of numbers and make-shift words that not one person on this early could possibly understand without asking for help from a store employee. Because even if you know what the thing is, you don't know where it is in the store. Take the Hug Me BLKT, (which I'm assuming means blanket). Underneath the item it says I can find it in LOCATION #20. I think I was looking around for 15 minutes until I finally decided no, it wasn't me there really are NO numbered locations in this store. I went to ask someone about it and they said, "Oh, location 20, that's the bedding wall." OH REALLY? OF COURSE! THE BEDDING WALL! WHO WOULDN'T KNOW THAT?

Walking away instead of getting into a conversation that I knew I'd regret, I went looking for the bedding wall. But, not to my surprise, no "Hug Me" blankets. So I was left with no choice but to ask another employee where I can find this increasingly annoying item. They walked me right over to it, but (and I'm not joking when I say this) NOWHERE on this blanket did it say the words "hug me." Look to the left! I found the actual item online. Do YOU see the words "Hug Me?" Am I supposed to assume a bear walking next to a tree means "hug me." So let's backtrack here for a second, how the HECK am I supposed to know number #1 WHERE the thing is (oh right, location #20. The bedding wall) and WHAT the blanket looks like (it's the "hug me" blanket that has no trace of the words hug me, anywhere.)

In my second life I am developing a new system for registry's. (Of all kind, even ones for unborn babies.)

"Hug Me" BLKT in hand, although I'm despising it more and more by the second, I headed for the check-out aisle. (Because 5 more minutes in this store, and I guarantee you I would have collapsed.) But what's this I see? The SPORTS section. YES, there is a God. Mets hats, Yankee shirts, Giants sippy cups, even little Favre jerseys! I was in my glory. I immediately ditched the "hug me" blanket (sorry Erica, you were so nice in helping me find that darn thing) and I started picking up the unborn child's first official team gear. I couldn't stop myself! I LOVE Babies 'R Us!

I immediately swiped a miniature-sized Jeter jersey (because what Yankee fan isn't complete with your kid dressed up in a Jeter jersey?), and a "My First Jets Tee" off the rack and called it a day.

Remember parents, make sure the kid knows who bought them their first Jeter jersey. His/her favorite sports anchor.

And I thought shower shopping was supposed to be boring.