Santa Tightens His Belt

By: Carol Silva

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Smiles. Cookies. Family. Gifts. Nice, right? So "Norman Rockwell-ish," right? OK, so just between the two of us, really, how stressed are you?

Well, maybe it doesn't have to be so bad. You see, this year thousands of your Long Island neighbors are feeling the financial pinch. We've lost jobs, lost homes, and some have lost hope. But an amazing Hicksville School District psychologist Dr. David Ferrin says this economic crisis that has Santa tightening his belt, might be a  blessing in disguise.

Dr. Ferrin can hardly remember a single gift he got when he was a kid. But he remembers the traditions of Christmas. His Dad was a taxi driver. They'd pile into his big Checkered cab and drive through the streets of Manhattan and look at the decorated windows. Or they'd drive to the Bronx train yard, wait for the Christmas trees to come in from Canada and then pick one out.

Those were the highlights of his holiday season. Dr. Ferrin says - back then, parents didn't focus on "stuff." And kids weren't exposed to a full-on barrage of "have to have" holiday toy commercials on 24-hour kid TV channels, starting before Thanksgiving! He admits, kids today think they have to have the latest in electronics, fashion and sneakers to feel "in."

So, he says, it's time we parents shift the focus. Take the focus off of our ability to "give give give - stuff!" to our kids. Let's give time and experiences instead (sorry retailers of America).

Here are some of Dr. Ferrin's thoughts:

In the spirit of the holidays all children look forward to unwrapping presents from Santa. They can also know that Santa can't bring everything to every child, but that he tries his best to bring something special to each child. To help Santa make decisions, a parent can help a child choose two or three "gifts" that would make the child happy. Then the child can write to Santa asking him for these things, but knowing that Santa will only bring one of those gifts. Any choice that Santa makes would still be on that child's "I want" list.

Why can't Santa bring everything? Even little ones can be made to understand that times are tough, without causing them to be concerned about the family situation. Gas is expensive, and so is the "reindeer food" that Santa has to buy. Santa's elves needed to buy new clothes for themselves this year because it is SOOOO cold in the North Pole, and Santa has to pay for those clothes.

Parents can easily refocus the children this year so that the issue of "what am I going to get" becomes replaced by "what are we going to do". There are so many inexpensive and wonderful things that a family can do over the Christmas holiday.

A trip to any of the beautiful Christmas tree farms on Long Island is always fun, perhaps even more so if it's coupled with a visit to Friendly's for ice cream or some other inexpensive but fun treat.

An evening ride to some of the communities where people really decorate their homes is always fun - and put the car radio on one of those stations that play holiday music all the time (WALK- Radio 97.5FM is a great one.) It's a family sing-a-long!

Drive into Manhattan and see the tree at Rockefeller Center and then stroll down Fifth Avenue to see the famous New York windows all decorated for the holiday.

Instead of everyone buying presents for everyone in the house, perhaps each family member could pick a name out of a hat and buy a present just for that person. Of course, this won't work for the little ones, who would be sorely disappointed. They are too young to truly understand the more altruistic side of life. Teenagers, however, could certainly use this as a "teachable moment".

If the family has made plans for a "get away" vacation over the upcoming February or April school breaks, parents can certainly talk to their older children about the realities of the expense of a trip for the family, and then discuss with those children whether they would rather have some extra "spending money" during that vacation, or relinquish that for a gift. It teaches choice, sacrifice, and value.

While it is a stretch, some families may want to teach their children about the meaning of Christmas by getting the family to volunteer at a soup kitchen (some of the soup kitchens require a minimum age for your children to volunteer, but maybe you can make a holiday family pledge to help later in the year - when there are far fewer "helpers.) Or maybe bake something special for a neighbor who may be having a difficult time. Children can be a part of this by choosing one of their older toys (still in good condition) to give to a family in need so that another child could be happy. Some children may even want to sacrifice their present by buying something new for a needier child. Perhaps that's a great example of the holidays; spreading love.

Now, if you want to give those coupon "gifts" (you know - for babysitting or a foot massage or "get out of making your bed for a week - free" card,) we've got a website  that can help you print them. And there are some great budget holiday ideas on the Budget 101 website budget101.  

As David Ferrin says - if we want to, we can all learn a lesson from Mick Jagger this season. You can't always get what you want, but if you try - you'll get what you really need!

Merry Everything!

 

Comments

[SUSAN L.RUDNICK]

CAROL WE WISH YOU & YOUR FAMILY MUCH LOVE AND BEST OF WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER FOR THE NEW YEAR.GETTING BACK TO BASICS LIKE THE FAMILY DINNER IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THE TRUE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON.GIVING YOUR TIME TO YOUR CHILDREN IS FAR BETTER DOWN THE ROAD THAN PILES OF STORE BOUGHT GIFTS.BAKING PIES AND COOKIES AND PLAYING BOARD GAMES TOGETHER IS ALOT MORE FUN AND THEY WILL REMEMBER THESE FAR LONGER! SUSAN L.RUDNICK & FAMILY

[Craig]

hi what did you mean by congratulations on the longest run on sentence in the history of the internet hey I meant what I said is true if you do not like what I said or you think I am stupid he its no joke I really want to know what news 12 thinks of costco or not thats all I am not trying to be to stupid here maybe you feel that way carl seraphine

[Carl Seraphine]

To Craig (posting on 12/16) -

Congratulations on the longest run-on sentence in the history of the internet.

[meghan]

hey carol my mom works @ fork lane school wat day where you there what day is it gonna air anytime soon are you and the kids gonna be @ the games if so i have some people i'd love for you to meet i also added you on facebook please write me back

[craig]

Hi carol I like news12 on tv you are the best news team on long island I see some of you reporters and staff at the costco wholesale store in westbury new york how do you like the store I wanted to write about costco because about a month ago lea tyrrell on long island talks said that costco used to be busy and now its slow but not the costco in westbury I forgot the guest that night on long island talks I like the show to hey I know you do not like to hear people say when you are not in the news 12 studio say hey are you on news12 long island when people see you on the street or shoppong in the stores across long island that happened to me when I was working at costco I saw one of your weather team reporters I when I saw him I asked I am not going to tell you who I saw but I asked him are you on news12 long island and he shakes his head yes but he said I do not like to brag about it hey I see you on tv I did not mean to get him upset a little bit I am just a fan of news12 long island I am sorry that I said that to him once again thank you very much