A Parent's Worst Nighmare

By Colleen McVey

   A parent's worst nightmare - I've read that headline too many times in my career and it hits home again with the tragic death of a 14 year old in West Babylon.

   I can't stop thinking about Garrett Quedens and his family. It is such a heartbreaking loss of a young life. What Garrett and his friend did on New Years Eve kids do all too often. I know a few parents who realize it could have been their son or daughter.  I hear about "close calls" all the time.

  Last year, a friend's 14 year old son passed out on a frigid night and his "friends" ran away in fear. He was lucky someone found him and called an ambulance. He had to be hospitalized for hypothermia.

 Another teenager I know was smart and brave enough to call an ambulance when her 16 year old friend passed out after doing shots of vodka at a New Year's Eve party. When they got to the hospital they found out another student from their high school was there having his stomach pumped.

 And in my own family a few years ago, my son was caught trying to leave the house with a water bottle filled with vodka. He was Garrett's age at the time.  We were lucky he didn't get too far.

 Even though kids learn about the dangers of drinking and drugs from their parents and in school - a lot of them just don't get it.  They don't believe it will hurt them. I wish I could watch over my children at all times, but I can't, so I will just keep talking to them about doing "the right thing." I just hope and pray they listen and will learn from Garrett's tragic death.

Comments

[SUSAN L.RUDNICK]

DEAR COLLEEN,I SENT A MESSAGE TO THE FAMILY OF THIS YOUNG MAN WHO LOST HIS LIFE IN SUCH A HORRIFIC AND SENSELESS MANNER.HOPEFULLY OTHER TEANS WILL THINK TWICE ABOUT WHAT THEY DO FOR RECREATION .WHY ARE THEY SO QUICK TO GROW UP?CHILDHOOD IS SUPPOSSED TO BE FULL OF BALL GAMES,RIDING BIKES ETC,NOT ACTING LIKE AN ADULT (STUPID).WHAT A SHAME . I THINK THAT THIS FAMILY AND COMMUNITY SHOULD ALL LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS YOUTHS FATE.SUSAN L.RUDNICK

[tommy]

Kids are always going to experiment and push the envelope. They want to grow up too fast. We did the same thing, each in our own way. Unfortunately, some of them won't survive the process. I think one of the reasons they don't "get it" is because the message we're sending contradicts everything they see around them. As parents, we're the only ones telling the kids to fly right. Everything else they see tells them that life is a big party and the bill will never come due. When they become teenagers, they begin to see that we don't know everything so they allow the pendulum to swing all the way to we don't know anything. Couple that with the fact that we're the only ones telling them to do the right thing, while all the forces around them are pushing them to the dark side, and we get results like this poor kid. We tell them the stuff they don't want to hear. We were lucky. My daughter joined the ambulance corps and rode with her mom and me. She got to see first hand as a teenager the effects of the dark side on her peers, alcohol, drugs, violence, sex...the ugly, rotting side of what society is selling. In our case, it worked. It could have just as easily have gone the other way, in a quick second. My heart breaks for the Quedens, and all the families of those kids who'll follow him down that path.